May 2013
iamonlydorb:
sucysucyfivedolla:
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
nbcemployee:
the uglier the snapchat, the closer the friendship
jesusfreakinglucifer:
i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked
fishingboatproceeds:
the-blog-of-anne-frank:
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
This. Changes. Everything.
Let's be freaks...: albinwonderland: I was... →
albinwonderland:
I was standing in the bathroom with my 8-year-old niece and she saw me adjusting my top and said, completely serious and curious,
“Why do you want to look good?”
it took me aback for a moment.
“Sometimes because I want to. Sometimes because I feel like I should.”
“That’s…
Confession:
I’m really dreading my twentieth birthday.
ianthe:
schmergo:
ianthe:
nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues
FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident. That means that some guy decided, “Whoa, this smells a lot like grapes,” and now everyone pretends it’s grape-y, too…
It tastes like an...
anus:
laughingstation:
people that have trouble gaining weight
bepeu:
what i learned in high school
you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher
there is more than one kind of cool
if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you
not all food is edible
who cares
jacnoc:
candymandie:
‘get back in the kitchen’
sure
be sexist and send me back to a room full of sharp things, poisons, cleaning agents and food I can hide all that shit in
I’ll go back in the kitchen
but you’re leaving the house in a bodybag
And the award for best response to “get back in the kitchen” goes to this post.
meoplelikepeople:
acrackinthetardis:
nickgrimshade:
do you ever remember that harry is only 18 years old and he’s been accused of sleeping with 410 women and breaking up 3 marriages and he can’t even get a tattoo without being surrounded by thousands of girls and he has no privacy and never actually gets to just be an 18 year old kid
For a minute I thought you were talking about Harry...
Living in this house
I feel like I’m suffocating.
I need to get out of here.
I need to make more money so I can. Everything decent is at least $600-$800 a month which I can’t pay on my own. Unless I don’t want to eat. Which may not be a bad thing.
sometimes i drop things and am too lazy to pick them up, like pencils, or my hopes and dreams
wholesomeandfantastic:
Paranorman is on Netflix hollaaaaa. Let’s see if it’s good.
REALLY?!?!?! You need to wait and watch that with me.
I am sad a lot. I just thought I would share that. It’s been five months, and I am still really sad every single day.
“You mean the generation that paid three times as much for college to enter a job...”
– When comments are better than the article, Atlantic edition (“The Cheapest Generation: Why Millennials arent’ buying cars or houses, and what that means for the economy”)
homosaurus-rex:
homosaurus-rex:
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
can we talk about how this is still getting notes
My Facebook stalking skills even scare me sometimes.
2 tags
Sometimes I like to tell people to stay golden. I will always say it jokingly, but that phrase actually means a lot to me.
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
4 tags
So I tell my dad that I’m gonna take one day off of work a week and he starts lecturing me about how I don’t make any money and how when he was my age, he paid for everything himself and how I don’t pay for anything (which is not true. I pay my student loans, my gas, anything I want to buy like clothes or food or beauty products or movies, I pay for any activity I do, my allergy shots, and I...
theninjapirate:
”where do you wanna go to dinner?”
”i don’t care”
”ok”
this is what we need.
forever-classyx:
Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
shixn:
i think my priest might be gay????? i mean he keeps saying “ah, men” after every prayer
