I know you have piles of magazines lying around your house that you don’t need and your mom has been hoarding because she plans to ‘recycle them’. Here’s an idea: give them to a needy artist who has no money to buy $4 magazines just so she can cut them up. Aka. Me.
Will exchange sexual favors for magazines.. only not.
Will exchange cookies for magazines.
Or other fun things.
Just think about all the good I bring into your life.
I guess it’s nice that he cares. It’s basically stuff that I already knew. Kinda glad he knows how to use email so we didn’t actually have to talk about it.
I’ll give you the gist of it:
the dangers of
not doing your homework
losing your scholarship
getting a credit card
slipping in the shower (just kidding. But who knows. I haven’t actually finished reading it yet.)
2. Using resources wisely
3. I will have family close to me if I need them. (probably means they’ll check up on me too.) He also says they will feed me. So this is good. I like food.
Oh god. I just read the end of the email, and about started crying.
"I’m sure I have more to say. I just wanted to get this down in writing in case I got hit by a bus or something or before you were off at school then it was too late. Now you have several months to read and re-read this so it sinks in. We don’t have to discuss it, just acknowledge that you got it so I know it didn’t get lost in cyberspace."
It’s one of my greatest fears to lose my dad. I have no idea how I’d ever be able to live without him. Ughhhhhhh. Freaking out right now. Too much to even make a mean girls joke.
He also told me that if I hate college I can quit (I’m sure they’d make me go somewhere else at some point. Probably somewhere cheaper.) and come home and have my room back. That’s nice of him. I wonder if he ran that past my sisters. How much you wanna bet that if I decided to move back home I’d get exiled to the basement? No way those bitches would give me my space back. Just sayin.
Then again, the younger one is scared shitless of me. I dunno where she’d sleep though.
This year July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So copy this and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese Feng Shui, the one who does not copy, will be without money. Figured I'd pass this on!