Teacher:A long time ago, people thought there were only four elements. Can anyone guess what they were?
Me:Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.
Me:A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an airbender named Aang. And, although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone.
Aries – Place someone above them. Be first to get what they want. Turn everything into a contest and win. Call them a coward. Make them wait.
Taurus – Hide or damage their valuables. Use their stuff without first asking permission. Take their money. Starve them. Give them food that looks, tastes or smells unpleasant. Give them a gaudy or cheap gift.
Cancer – Accuse them of overreacting or being too sensitive. Mistreat their family. Take away their security blanket.
Gemini – Spill liquid on their gadgets or books. Make them wait to hear a juicy tidbit of information (especially if they’re the last to know). Whatever they tell you, respond with “Oh that? That’s old news.” Solitary confinement with 0 distractions or entertainment. Have no “street smarts”. Successfully con them.
Leo – Don’t compliment them. Ever. Compare them unfavorably to someone else. Be stingy with affection. Embarrass them in public. Force them to live in poverty or take away their luxuries. Question their principles.
Virgo – Rearrange their ____ – repeatedly. Silent treatment. Present them with things, tasks or people that they can’t organize or fix. Correct or double-check them. Question their know-how or attention to detail. Take away all of their research paraphernalia.
Libra – Ignore etiquette. Decide that they’re unattractive. Point out their flaws with an audience. Put them in situations where they must make a decision quickly on limited information.
Scorpio – Expose and/or analyze their secrets (in private or public). Don’t fall for their manipulations. Successfully manipulate or humiliate them. Don’t have sex with them.
Sagittarius – Complain incessantly. Sweat the small stuff. Never make, understand or laugh at a joke. Remove their options. Have no common sense.
Capricorn – Be lazy. Ruin their plans or their reputation. Question their authority. Remind them that they’re not the boss or that they have a boss.
Aquarius – Make a good case for why their friends, ideas, values or tastes are predictable, boring and common. Question their intelligence or treat them as an intellectual inferior.
Pisces – Give them lots of responsibility and deadlines. Then apply some pressure. Belittle their dreams. Be unkind. Stereotype. Negatively judge them and everyone else around them. Make them face (a dreary, hopeless, practical) reality.
I don’t know about you. But every single thing on this list would piss me off. Not just the Gemini stuff…
When I was 19, I married my high school sweetheart. He had never hit me in anyway. Never had yelled at me. He was in the Navy and we moved nearly 1000 miles away from home. We had been married one week when he first slapped me. I forgave him. We had been married about a year when he first punched me in the stomach. I forgave him. After about a year and a half it became common for him to slap, punch or kick me.
I lived for the times he was out to sea. I made excuses. I never blamed him, I always blamed me.
After three years of marriage we moved back to our home state. After we had been to visit family, he punched me the entire trip home and had left bruises on my face and arms. All because I smiled and hugged one my best friends: a gay man.
I knew he would kill me.
I went to work the next day and was paid while I found a shelter and went to a doctor. I went home and packed. He came home early and proceeded to beat me with his fists, a belt and kicked me repeatedly. He also threw me down stairs.
The only reason I’m alive is that I played dead and he went to look for something to put “that dead cunt in.” I was able to open the door and get out of that apartment and stop a car and get help.
I found out later that the doctors at the hospital didn’t think I would make it through the night. I had 4 broken ribs, a punctured lung, fractured skull, broken leg, fractured leg, a broken nose, a broken ankle and various other injuries. They told my dad that if I hasn’t told the person that took me to the hospital what had happened they would have thought I had been in a car accident. They told dad it would be a miracle if I lived. My dad was planning my funeral in his head. When I woke up I talked to the police, got a restraining order and filed for divorce. He went to jail for less than a year.
He remarried someone who knew me. Someone who had seen the pictures, someone who wouldn’t listen to me. She said he was “too hot to do that” she also said “he can hit me anytime.” He does, I’ve seen her bruises. She is living in hell now because she didn’t listen or pay attention to the police report.
Those girls out there saying that Chris Brown can hit them. He will, girls, and next time he’ll be sure to get someone that is not famous and won’t have an army behind her. He might even kill you but don’t worry sure he will look “hot” doing it. Grow up and stop idolizing an abuser.
He doesn’t deserve a Grammy, a number 1 album. He deserves to be treated the same way he treated Rihanna.
If you want to see what someone like him can do, volunteer at a shelter and you will see.